Things that are not comedy:

1. Repeatedly asking someone their name.
2. Any form of mass audience participation (except cheering), especially hand clapping games.
3. Dressing up in a paper mache whale costume.
4. Squealing ear-piercing whale sounds over a microphone at Federation Square.
5. Chanting ‘dum de dum de dum de dum’ over and over and over again while dressed up as Alice in Wonderland.

Just because it’s family comedy doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to be not funny! Some of the acts in the Melbourne Comedy Festival’s Big Laugh Out were so dire that RM declared it ‘worst comedy ever’. At least it was free.